Bonus Guest Post! Guest Post 6: Uncle Crappy!

Well Today was supposed to be a post by just me after a week of having some great guest post, but then out of no where late wednesday, i was approached with an offer, an offer i could not in any state of mind refuse. Uncle Crappy ( ) said i have this idea. i would like to put, go for it i said! 

So here it is Guest Post 6: The bonus round! Uncle Crappy!


I’m not sure how long Chachi has lived here, but this is the start of my 15th football season in Pittsburgh

Yeah, it probably makes more sense to mark the passage of time in years, but c’mon — this is Stiller Country, for crying out loud, and when you’re a fan of the enemy, you can’t escape the constant reminders that from August through January, you don’t quite belong here.

Actually, that’s not quite accurate either. Chachi and I are both life-long fans of the Cleveland Browns, the team that used to be the enemy around here. But the Browns have been so bad for so long that they’ve been supplanted by the Ravens as the big-deal rival around here. But when I moved to western Pennsylvania, the Ravens didn’t exist and the Browns were still somewhat relevant, even playing the Stillers in a first-round playoff game that first season.

That’s when it was fun. I remember seeing a front-page photo of Vinny Testaverde hanging in effigy from the Smithfield Street Bridge. I had fellow drivers flipping me off every chance they had, all because I had a Browns flag on my car. And if I wore a Browns jersey in public? I have to say I was always impressed by the displays of vocabulary directed my way.

That’s how it should be, and for one season, it was. But the following year, The Rat Bastard Who Shall Not Be Named But Had Better Not Ever Make It Into The Hall Of Fame Or I’m Going To Be Heading To Canton With A Truckload Of Molotov Cocktails yanked my team out of Cleveland and completely sucked the fun out of my autumn Sunday afternoons. I was excited when the team returned in 1999, even though I knew it would be a while before the football universe was restored to its usual balance. I just didn’t think it would take this long.

Thanks to the Browns’ inept owners, coaches and players, the Cleveland-Pittsburgh rivalry is on life-support. If I put the Browns flag on my car, no one even notices. If I wear a jersey outside my house, I get sympathetic smiles instead of profanity-laced tirades. These days, my Stiller-fan friends even talk wistfully about the way things used to be, and Mrs. Crappy — my own wife and the Stiller fan with whom I share my home — says that Browns-Stillers games are no longer fun.

Sigh. Another season is about to begin. I wish I could say I had hope that things will be different, but I’m expecting another six or seven-win year for my Brownies — another lost season, and another step closer to losing the best rivalry in pro football forever.


Here’s a picture of me in my Bernie Kosar jersey. Could one of you Stiller fans tell me to go fuck myself? You know, for old time’s sake? I’d feel a lot better.


Chachi’s Notes: I have been in pittsburgh for 5 or 6 football seasons, and UC is completely right. There was a time where i was afraid to leave my house wearing brown and orange. Not anymore. and while i like wearing my colors outside, i miss the friendly hostility when it comes to this great sport. i miss the good ole days.


6 Responses to “Bonus Guest Post! Guest Post 6: Uncle Crappy!”

  1. Go Browns!

    (Good heavens that hurt to type.)


    The rivalry needs to come back. The Steelers still need to kick that Brownie ass, but how about we make it close for a while?

  2. Hey uncle crappy, go fuck yourself. ( feel better? )

    I miss the Browns rivalry but yer right, now its more of a joke. i still plan on hating Cleveland, its just not as much fun anymore

  3. Uncle Crappy Says:

    BB: See? You’re being too damn nice.

    Spoon: That’s more like it! I feel better already.

  4. […] good old days and what they mean for a Browns fan living in Pittsburgh, you’ll want to read my guest post at Chachi Says today. Thanks to Chachi for letting me […]

  5. Cleveland, OH (AP) – A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Cuyahoga County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

    The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

    After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

    After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Cleveland Browns, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

  6. Uncle Crappy Says:


    That’s one of my favorites. Although my version is a little different:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: