Zombies vs. “Zombies”


Intro: This post is the second of two that I started while bored out of my gourd on election day.

Also a brief explanation of the domain name change here at what used to be chachisays.com. I forgot to change the notice email address with my provider when consolidating email accounts. Never saw that my domain was up for renewal and therefore didn’t know until a week after it had lapse. When I went to get it renewed, it had been snatched. so unfortunately chachisays.com as we knew it no longer lives. I’m trying to decide if I should bother with a new domain name or just keep it chachisays.wordpress.com . so until further notice just use it.

If you’re reading this then more then likely you live in or around pittsburgh, or have at one point or  im completely wrong and you are a straggler off the interwebz that took a wrong turn during a detour.(if so WELCOME! and what you want to do is head back the way you came, once you get to the serious looking rodent video hang a left. if you reach the hampster dance, you’ve gone too far.)

Now, recognizing the awesomeness of this fair city, we know where zombies as we know them originated.

After many a discussion that ends with me calling someone a dummy head, pouting and stomping away in a fit.(that’s how I roll in debates yo.) I decided to post my thoughts on zombies.

Zombies

Now, you’ll notice that I’m using quotes around one of the zombies. I’ll cover that later if you don’t figure it out by yourself first.

zom·bie –noun

1.(in voodoo)  the body of a dead person given the semblance of life, but mute and will-less, by a supernatural force, usually for some evil purpose.

2. Informal.

a  person whose behavior or responses are wooden, listless, or seemingly rote; automaton.

b. an eccentric or peculiar person.

Now, that is the true definition of the word zombie, and we can use some of that definition to explain where im going with this.  mainly the part that says.

“:a  person whose behavior or responses are wooden, listless, or seemingly rote; automaton”

add the word reanimated and we have ourselves a zombie. We have a leg dragging, slow moving, drooling gargling barely functioning being.  Even in the beginning of theories or stories of reanimation the being was barely capable of walking. (i.e. Frankenstein.)

Yes, it is not reanimation in the same sense as Frankenstein’s monster but reanimation either way.

This means that they were dead and decaying and were brought back to life.  So that breaks down the muscles and makes them stiff and weak. Making them the leg draggers we know and love.  The one true zombie.

upon death the body proceeds to immediately shut down…. blah blah blah general science knowledge blah blah blah. being reanimated doesn’t mean that your body instantly repairs that break down.

So this is why Romero’s zombies could happen. And why you should always be prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse.

“Zombies”

Here is the part where I said I would explain the quotes. The zombies in all these new fangled zombie flicks are not zombies. Not true zombies at least. I realize that it makes it more exciting for the viewers and everything, but they are imposters.  The above science knowledge dropped on you discredits these imposters as not being real zombies.

Although the movies are extremely enjoyable for the most part just not right.

Lets Recap why these arent zombies.

Zombies can run: False

Zombies can jump: False

Zombies can think: false.

Now because I want you to all be prepared here is a link to the Zombie Apocalypse Survival guide. Read it, learn it, apply it.

http://books.google.com/books?id=4mcT7A371xQC&printsec=frontcover&dq=zombie+survival+guide&source=bl&ots=nYPi6PYR9W&sig=eTO1FgfGXZoce07ESIFXdEgeNIk&hl=en&ei=rsH_S66rD8P88Ab0qvDBCQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5&ved=0CEQQ6AEwBA#v=onepage&q&f=false

Chachi Says: Knowledge dropped. And remember kids, when the Zombies come for you, its every person for themselves. team work wont help you here. and Yes, I Am An Expert.

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3 Responses to “Zombies vs. “Zombies””

  1. That happened to my domain a couple years ago.

  2. […] Zombies vs. “Zombies” « Chachi Says….. […]

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